Neal’s Ponderings

Along with being a founding partner and manager of Lorax Partnerships, Neal also entertains us weekly with what we call “Neal’s Ponderings”. 

  • Last night I was looking up at the stars and wondering where was my roof. 
  • Everywhere is within walking distance, if you have the time.
  • I want to give special thanks to sidewalks, for keeping me off the streets. 
  • What’s green and fuzzy and would kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.
  • How does a train eat? It “Choo-Choos”
  • There are a lot of sponges in the sea, but without them would it be deeper?
  • If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  • If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out of its nose?
  • I never have understood why at a wedding the bride never marries the best man.
  • Try to imagine a world without hypotheticals.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice…?
  • Is it really necessary to make an appointment to see a psychic? 
  • Do you suppose cannibals might not eat clowns because they taste funny?
  • If a synchronized swimmer on a really good team drowns, do they all perish?
  • I’m having a difficult time coming up with a single detrimental effect of paper over rock.
  • I couldn’t remember how to use a boomerang, but then it hit me.
  • I focused while trying to figure out why the frisbee was getting larger and larger, then it hit me. 
  • I would have to guess that the most important invention after the telephone, would have been the second telephone.
  • I’m considering taking a job hanging mirrors. Not sure why, I can just see my self doing that.
  • If you are feeling cold, try standing in a corner. It’s usually 90° there.
  • The farmer counted 297 cows in the pasture, but after he rounded them up he had 300.
  • If your first inclination is to procrastinate, can you really be called a procrastinator?
  • I’m good friends with most of the letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
  • How many snowballs does it take to defeat your opponent at SnowCraft?  The answer is 3!  See for yourself here